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Weddings are joyous occasions but it is also one of the most stressful moment for the couple. Many people have swapped stories about weddings. Stories about the bloopers, the tear jerker moments, the people and the clothes they are wearing and most of all the wine and the food. It takes a lot of work to prepare for a wedding especially with all the details that needs to be considered.
Thus, planning is essential for a wedding. To coordinate a bunch of people to work smoothly is essential. To make available all the materials needed is crucial. We do not only prepare for the practical and technical part of the wedding. But we also have to prepare ourselves for the high drama that comes with it. As the wedding day gets nearer, stress gets higher, emotions also goes haywire. So preparing ourselves is as important. We have to ask ourselves on how do we deal with each other when our views are conflicting. It is easy if we agree on things.
But let’s face it, we see things differently because of our background, family culture and values. When discussing the menu for the reception becomes a major fight. When petty issues become major issues. It is time to stop and reflect. Where are these things coming from? The process of dealing with conflicts and differences becomes crucial too. We need to use the conflict as a stepping stone to know and understand each other better and not to drive a wedge. We need to know the things that makes the other happy, sad, irritate and angry. We need to know when to take a break and affirm again the decision to marry each other and not another person. This progression makes us more prepared for what is to come after the wedding – the Marriage. It is but natural that differences occur but it is how we deal with the disagreements that makes the difference. So amidst the many challenges that will come during the preparation for the wedding, it is important that the couple will stand united.
For a holistic perspective in preparing for a wedding, here are some questions that one can use as guides or tips:
Why you are marrying your partner?
It is good to be reminded that the wedding is about you and your partner especially in moments when things are not going the way you want.
What are attitudes that you each one of you should have while preparing and for the actual wedding?
Having the right disposition as you prepare for the wedding that both of you wanted is essential. This is the choice of being able to support one another and being happy about it. Things will not be smooth sailing as you do your arrangements but still you are doing things together.
What kind of wedding that you both envision? What are your expectations?
The need to clarify expectations with each other especially on the kind of wedding that you have dreamt about is essential. It would lessen frustrations, disappointments and most of all it will give you focus on the things that you have given priority. Imagine the fated day in your mind and describe it to each other. The positive feelings that rose from your imaginations will bring a lot of good will to your dream wedding.
What are the list of things that should be done? What are each other’s assignments/tasks?
The practical part of the wedding comes in here and we will be helped by the magic of the internet. As we surf through the net, we can find different sites who promotes the Do It Yourself (DIY) lifestyle. We can find checklists for the wedding, possible places to visit that gives discounts. We can watch and learn from people’s experience who has gone ahead of you. Then we arm ourselves with lots of information but we discern and choose ideas that simply addresses your need, preferences and realities.
What are the available resources (money, people, equipment, etc.)?
Check your list with the things that both of you have and do not have. Identify one or two non-negotiables that both of you want for the wedding. Check your budget if the things that you want you can afford or you can borrow or you need to buy. It is good that you can rely on people but in preparing for the wedding it is best to rely on each other more.
What is the timeframe or schedule for doing the tasks and updates?
Set the schedule when you can do the work together or when you do things individually. It is good to include in your schedule the time for updates. Also remember to give time for dates when things are getting toxic. Take time to recharge and then go back to the preparation.
May all weddings be a celebration of union of two people amidst the people who loves, supports, encourages and disciplines them that they may live together all the days of their lives. As the guests go home, may they remember your wedding for the right reason – they are a good couple who loves and inspires love.